omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
