But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
