so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
