kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
