he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize
