U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
