does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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