FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
