You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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