how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
