R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
