so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
