May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
