You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
