how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
