i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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