Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I need a beard to bite.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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