just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
