I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
