his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
bring money and cleavage
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
