KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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