my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
