Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
