We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
