I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
