carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just had sex bonerless
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
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