Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
