does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
