Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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