You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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