I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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