i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
