I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
