she was so not down for the gang bang
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
