This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
