i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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