The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
