are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
