Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
