At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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