is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
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