i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
