They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
