he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
