I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
