you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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