Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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