Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
