I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
