Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
