Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
