saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
