Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I can't turn off my feet"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
