I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
